


I'm Not The Only One

by notgonslave (wedontslave)



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on a Sam Smith Song, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 20:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29515476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wedontslave/pseuds/notgonslave
Summary: Quinn has a horrible feeling that Santana's cheating on her: Santana's acting distant, she always works overtime, she seems less affectionate. Yet, Quinn cannot bring it upon herself to end their relationship.
Relationships: Quinn Fabray/Santana Lopez
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	I'm Not The Only One

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I'm Not The Only One](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/762084) by Sam Smith. 



> This is a loose adaptation of Sam Smith's "I'm Not The Only One" music video.

“Honey, I’ve made breakfast for you,” Quinn called as she watched Santana descend the stairs. It had been like this for a while now, Quinn would make Santana some breakfast as Santana got ready for work. Sometimes Santana would stay for a little to eat half of the luxurious breakfast Quinn spent so long preparing, but other times she would leave the food to cool on the table and leave without a second glance.

Quinn hoped that Santana would stay to eat today. She had spent a little over half an hour making poached eggs and pancakes.

However, with one glance at the brunette who was looking at herself in the mirror, fixing her blazer, she knew that Santana was not going to stay.

“Sorry, babe,” Santana pouted, and she had the audacity to actually sound remorseful. “I got up too late today, have to be in court first thing in the morning.”

Quinn felt a dull thud of pain settling in her heart, but she swallowed it down and mustered a brave smile. After all, it was nothing new.

“That’s okay,” she reassured, placing a fleeting touch on tanned shoulders. “I’ll see you later today?”

Santana nodded.

“Alright. Come here, give me a kiss,” Quinn requested and Santana leaned forward slightly.

She wanted more, but it was only a peck.

“Bye,” Santana gave a small smile as she picked up her briefcase and walked out the front doors, towards their black car parked in the front yard of their suburban house.

Quinn watched as the car pulled out of the driveway, smiling and giving it a tentative wave as it made a right turn and went down the road. Unfortunately, the driver did not wave back.

Her smile was still there seconds after the car disappeared from sight, but soon, she found her facial muscles straining under the effort. Her smile fell and ducking her head, she turned and trudged back into the confines of their house.

* * *

Quinn didn’t know how much time passed, just her sitting in solitude on the sofa, staring at the grey sky. She watched as the clouds slowly drifted across the turbid canvas, overlapping and sliding across each other.

This was the third day in a row, spending time in solitude. She wasn’t bored, because simply trying to keep your feelings in check and to bury all the hurt was more than enough to keep you occupied.

She could swear that she and Santana were great only a few months ago. They were still having date night on Fridays, they still cuddled in the evenings watching some bad film as they shared popcorn, they still had plenty of mind-blowing sex.

And now, she had none of these things. Santana always had some kind of an excuse as to why she couldn’t make date night, and she was never home in the evenings for their movie night. She would arrive after nine, sometimes even later when Quinn was already asleep in their bed.

Santana was cheating on her. What else could it be?

She had to have done something wrong. There had to be a reason why Santana no longer loved her, why Santana would find solace with another woman instead of a silly girl she had been with for over five years.

What was wrong with her? Why didn’t Santana love her back anymore?

The murky spread of white dotted with grey clouds blurred and contorted as she felt the familiar sting in her eyes. She couldn’t keep it down for any longer. Her heart felt as if it was constantly being compressed by a vice grip of humiliation and hurt, and she could no longer stand the torture.

Her shoulders shook as she broke down into uncontrollable sobs, feeling her mascara run down her cheeks, staining everywhere. But she didn’t care.

Santana didn’t love her. Yet Quinn couldn’t bring it upon herself to confront Santana about her affairs, because that meant that she would hear the truth come out of Santana’s very own lips, etching the hurt into her heart for eternity. It made it real, the pain palpable, and it meant that Santana would leave her. And even after everything, she didn’t want Santana to leave.

She felt as if she was grabbing onto the frail string that bound her and Santana together, not daring to let go because she would tumble into deep depths of darkness, with nobody to catch her.

Is it so messed up? That she would rather hold onto any part of Santana, even if it was a mere quarter of her, than let her go completely and find someone who could put 100% into her? Is it so messed up that she still loved Santana unconditionally and didn’t want Santana to leave, even if Santana didn’t love her back anymore?

Quinn wiped away the black, gnarly stains of ruined mascara from her cheeks and stood up. She needed something to dull the hurt, the pain, so that she could put up a front when Santana finally returned after having fucked countless nameless girls.

She was going to do something she had never done before.

* * *

She was worried that she was going to crash her car with how blurry the road was ahead of her. She wasn’t wearing her contacts and her tears kept trailing down mercilessly; she could barely see ten meters ahead of her as she drove. The radio was on, slightly crackling under the static, playing some upbeat 90s song but Quinn didn’t pay any attention towards it. It was too happy for her.

She felt as if her knuckles were going to break with how hard she was gripping onto the steering wheel, but eventually, she managed to turn the final corner and park their car to the pavement of her destination.

Even the shopkeeper seemed to be shocked with how much alcohol she was buying. She wasn’t a drinker; she had only had a few shots occasionally at parties but nothing more. She planned to get as wasted as she could, just to dull the pain, if only for a little bit.

“Twenty-pack of Marlboro, please,” Quinn grunted as she pointed to the wall behind the shopkeeper. The middle-aged man fixed her with a worried look, but under the intimidating glare Quinn gave him he acquiesced and slapped down the pack of cigarettes.

Quinn swiped Santana’s card and paid for the items, before making her way back home, bottles of different types of alcohol clanking slightly next to her in the passenger’s seat. Her tears had receded by now, so driving was no longer a hazardous sport for her.

After a few drinks in, sitting on the floor in the middle of the living room, Quinn started to get a little tipsy. But she didn’t stop. She kept on chugging the bottle of white wine until she felt as if she was going to puke it back out.

Looking at all the bottles of wine she had bought that were left unopened, lying with her on the floor, she decided to take a break from drinking because she felt like throwing up, not even a whole bottle through. She took another final swig of the bottle before she stood up shakily, hobbling and stumbling through the house as she made her way upstairs towards their bedroom.

Through the tortuous journey, Quinn was glad to say that her pain dissipated slowly as the alcohol in her system started to take its effect. She felt a lot lighter, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she felt free. Free from pain, free from anguish, free from eternal sadness.

The tender pain she had felt less than an hour ago had all disappeared, and got replaced with pure, unadulterated resentment and anger.

Mind made, Quinn stumbled across a few more rooms and flung open Santana’s drawer, grabbing as many articles of clothing as she could hold in her hands. She made sure to grab the expensive suits as well.

It took a while, but after having dumped the clothing into an unruffled heap in the garden, she found lighter fluid in one of the cabinets under the sink in the kitchen. She held the bottle tightly in her hands as she doused the assortment of clothes, formal and informal, with the fluid.

She then lit up a match, and she could hardly believe that she was having second thoughts when the small stick was getting shorter and shorter, flame edging closer to her fingers with every second that passed.

Santana deserved it. That fucking slut deserved it.

She dropped the match, and was instantly met with a loud roar as the flame erupted, smoke ascending into the stark air.

She found solace with the intense heat that blasted her in the face as she watched, expressionless, the individual pieces of clothing catch fire and curl as the flames lapped against it.

When the flames were finally starting to settle down, she walked back into the house and grabbed a cigarette, lighting it up and placing it in her mouth. She had never smoked before in her life, so she coughed and hacked upon the first inhalation of the incandescent gas. However, a few deep breaths later, she got used to it and found herself feeling relaxed and peaceful, as she stared at the dying flames on the grass, littered with ash, the remnants of what used to be Santana’s expensive lawyer clothes.

She was surprised to feel no remorse. Yes, she still loved Santana with every fibre of her being, but that bitch deserved it.

* * *

It was now late in the evening and Quinn had sobered up. The waves of euphoric happiness that the cigarettes and the alcohol had given her had passed, and the hurt slid back into her system. She had considered pushing the pain away again by drinking more, but her more obedient side told her not to. She didn’t want to become an alcoholic, an addict.

She was a good actress. She looked at herself in the mirror and practised her award-winning smile, feeling pleased when she was satisfied with the results. She could detect no pain in her facial expressions.

Good.

She took a deep breath and swung the front door open just as Santana pulled into the driveway, walking towards her, briefcase in her hands. She mustered that smile she had been practising for the past half-hour, trying her best not to falter when Santana smiled back.

Faker.

“Welcome back,” Quinn breathed as Santana walked straight into her embrace, holding her tightly.

“I missed you,” Santana mumbled into Quinn’s neck as they held each other.

Sure you did.

“How was your day?” Quinn asked as Santana pulled back, holding the blonde at arm’s length.

“Tiring,” was Santana’s laconic answer. “People at my firm drive me crazy, I swear,” she sighed.

 _I bet the fuck they do_.

“I’ll go and have a shower now, babe, is that okay? I smell.”

“Sure,” Quinn replied with the same practiced smile. “I’ll have dinner ready for you when you’re done.”

“Thank you,” Santana pecked Quinn on the cheek. “You’re the best. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

Quinn’s smile stayed in place as Santana made her way up the stairs. Then it fell.

* * *

They had been eating for a while, and it was going so well. Santana was still yet to detect Quinn’s internal anguish, so that was good. Until Santana said something that made Quinn’s resolve break complete.

“Quinn… why did you burn all of my clothes?” Santana asked with a small furrow of her eyebrows.

Quinn snapped her head to look at the brunette. She didn’t know what to say to that. It was something that she did in the heat of the moment, under the influence of alcohol. She could always deny it, but what good was that going to do? Santana already knew.

Instead, Quinn harboured the resentment she had lost hours ago and fixed it into one single withering glare that she sent, which got the brunette cowering.

“Because you deserved it,” she replied gruffly.

“W-What?” Santana looked genuinely hurt. “Why?”

“Why?” Quinn echoed mirthlessly, feeling tears prick at the corner of her eyes. “What do you mean, _why_?”

“I don’t get it,” Santana leaned forward to grab Quinn’s hand, but the blonde snatched it away. “Did I do something, Quinn?”

Quinn’s anger and resentment quickly dissolved as she realised where this conversation was going. She was going to confront Santana about her affairs, and… that meant that Santana was going to leave her. This was it. Santana was going to leave her for good now.

“I-I don’t get why…” Quinn’s voice trembled as she wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “Why you would cheat on me, Santana… is it me? Is it something I did?”

“Cheating?” Santana’s frown deepened even more. “Quinn, I haven’t been cheating on you.”

“Yes, you have!” Quinn shouted as she slammed her fork on the table, unable to suppress the pain she had been keeping to herself for two weeks now. It had been two weeks, and she was sick of pretending everything was okay. Because it wasn’t. “Please don’t make it any worse, Santana. Please don’t blatantly lie to my face, it hurts so much already…”

“I promise I haven’t been cheating on you,” Santana said frantically, grabbing Quinn’s hand. Quinn couldn’t muster the energy to pull it away as tears kept trailing, landing on the tabletop. “I would never, I love you, don’t you get that?”

“Don’t lie to me,” Quinn whispered, shaking her head. “I don’t believe you, Santana. You never eat the breakfast I spend ages preparing, you don’t watch silly movies with me anymore, you’re never home.”

“Shit,” Santana blinked a few tears of her own as she seemed to have realised what she had done. “Q-Quinn, I know that this is what it looks like, but I swear I haven’t been cheating on you.”

“What have you been doing all this time then? I know you’re not just working,” Quinn said glumly.

“I-I… uh, it’s meant to be a surprise, Quinn.”

Quinn scoffed and snatched her hands away, but Santana quickly grabbed onto them again.

“I promise! I-I’ll show you it right now, okay? It won’t have the same effect, b-but I hope you’ll be able to see past the past two weeks and forgive me, okay?”

Quinn simply stared at Santana, prompting her to continue.

“First of all,” Santana gulped. “I’m so incredibly sorry for making you think I’ve been cheating on you, you should’ve told me earlier, I’m so sorry, I didn’t think this through…” Santana swallowed, followed by taking a deep breath. “I’ve been running errands with friends all this time. I was trying to organise this event at Breadstix, the restaurant we had our first date at, do you remember?”

Through her haze of confusion, Quinn nodded.

“I wanted to surprise you, I got a whole lot of friends to agree to come back to celebrate this occasion, I got the band all set up and stuff, but it doesn’t matter, because I’ll do it now. Quinn, you are the best thing that has ever been mine, I cannot describe my love to you with mere words. You helped me find myself, you give me so much happiness that I cannot comprehend, and… for that, I want to keep you to myself forever. I-I know that this is not the best time or place to ask this, but…” Quinn’s jaw slackened as Santana grabbed something from her back pocket and kneeled in front of her on one knee. “Will you please marry me, Quinn?”

Quinn gaped at the beautiful ring that was in a box in tanned hands for a long time. Had she misread the whole situation…?

Fuck. She should’ve given Santana the benefit of the doubt… Santana had only started acting distant two weeks ago… she was so stupid. So stupid. She had no idea.

“I-I’m so sorry…” Quinn wept as she surged forward to embrace her girlfriend in a hug.

“Is that a yes?” Santana whispered into the blonde’s ear as Quinn sobbed into tanned shoulders.

“Yes…” Quinn replied as she pulled back and held the ring between two fingertips. She felt so ashamed and humiliated. “Yes, of course I will… I’m so sorry…”

“I’m really sorry too…” Santana mumbled as she slipped the ring in Quinn’s right ring finger. “I was so worried about this whole proposal thing that I didn’t think about how you would feel…”

Quinn opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Santana rambled on.

“I’ve been acting distant because I was really nervous, you know?” Santana explained. “Every time I looked at you I would think about the question I will be forcing myself to ask, and every time that happens I get this swirling feeling in my stomach and I feel sick, because I’m so scared. And um… I don’t eat your breakfasts because… ah,” she blushed. “I always oversleep and end up being late to work, so I’m sorry I didn’t have time to eat your _delicious_ food,” she bit her lip nervously. “And I’ve been home late because I’ve been rehearsing with the band and making arrangements all this time… I was going to sing you a sappy song on the day before I knelt in front of you… all our friends were going to watch…”

“I-I…” Quinn was lost for words. All of this time, Santana was tiring herself out, doing all of this for her. And she completely undermined that with her insecurity, her lack of trust in the woman she was supposed to love the most, and came up with a completely wrong hypothesis, causing her all this unnecessary pain. “I’m so sorry, Santana… I shouldn’t have burnt all your clothes…”

“It’s okay,” Santana reassured. “At least you didn’t burn the house down,” she jested, evoking a much-needed smile to appear on Quinn’s lips. “So… we good?”

“Yes,” Quinn whispered. “Thank you so much for this, and I’m so sorry.”

“No more apologies,” Santana admonished lightly. “I love you, wife-to-be.”

“And I love you too, wife-to-be,” Quinn parroted with a bashful smile.

Santana gave a lazy smile as she leaned in to capture Quinn’s lips in a euphoric kiss, and at that moment, Quinn felt that everything was okay again.

**Author's Note:**

> For those who did not know Dianna was in Sam Smith's music video of 'I'm Not The Only One', please go and watch it now!  
> She was so amazing in it, I cannot believe I didn't know she was in it until a few days ago.


End file.
